This may seem strange to find on a blog about dealing with rape

but I love BDSM. Bondage, submission, spanking, choking, slapping...even rape role-play. There is something so empowering about taking back something that hurt me so much. Controlling it myself. Making it mine. Taking what was used to make me so powerless and now using it to be in charge -- if, when, with whom, how long, how hard. It's empowering. It's laughing in the face of everything that's hurt me, saying "I'm stronger than you thought I was. You haven't broken me, and you won't. I'm in charge, and I can do this. I can do anything."