Stuck.

The worst part is feeling like I don't have anything to live for. Not because it hurts; hardly. I've accepted it. Its just so hard to live with. When everything seems pointless, how do you find the motivation to do anything? For stuff that us easy and instant-gratification, I don't have much of a problem. But for anything that requires effort, it always seems so pointless. Sometimes simply being told I have to do it is enough, if I'm not too down usually don't bother to wonder why I should bother doing it. Having someone rely on it, where I don't want to let them down, is about the only way to actually convince me to put in effort anymore. Just living up to expectations. Really, sometimes I feel as if I only exist through other people's expectations for me.