I know you said you don't read this anymore, but I hope you see this.

I want nothing more than for you to be happy. The only thing I want nearly as much is to be around to see it. Watching you sleep - because of course you fell asleep before I could say goodnight and shut down my computer - you look so peaceful. It's the best thing I've seen all day. It's especially true today, because whether you were actually upset about something or just having one of those days, I'm not sure, but you seemed so tired and so beaten. But really, every day, the best thing is seeing you happy. You just light up the whole room when you're happy - you're funny and and smiley and you have such a great laugh and genuine personality that it just spreads. And it just makes me realize how lucky I am that you're my best friend. Your smile can do more to improve my day than anything I can think of, and anytime I'm the reason for that happiness I just feel like the most special person on Earth. And I know sometimes that's hard to see, and that sometimes I make you sad, but you can make moods go away that no one else can, and you can make me feel safe and loved even when I'm at my worst, because your best is so much stronger than my worst. And I want to be there for your best and your worst, because I want to do everything in my power to turn it into your best. I want to protect you and please you and just keep you happy and carefree forever. And those times when you just can't be at your best, that's ok, because you are worth it. I keep leaning over and kissing you and touching you because I just can't stand not to. I'm kind of afraid I'll wake you up but not really. It's just that seeing you look so peaceful and carefree makes me so, so happy. And I can't even put into words how much I want to be able to see this 2, 12, 20, 50 years from now. I want you to be happy for the rest of your life and I want to be there to see it, because I can't think of a more worthwhile or rewarding thing to do with my life. And maybe all this is really corny but I mean it. You've been the best thing in my life and you've gotten me to a better place in my life. And it doesn't matter how good my life gets, I'll always want you in it, because seeing you happy is the best thing I'll ever know. And I just pray that it'll always be me that you want to share that with.