EVERYONE would be better off if i was dead

i had FINALLY started believing that maybe that wasnt true - that maybe, even if i couldnt see it, people were right and i meant SOMETHING to SOMEBODY. that when shaili said that i made tray happy, that she was right, and i just couldnt see it because of how i feel about myself. but she doesnt see this. she doesnt see all the crap i put him through - all the crap he wouldnt need to put up with if i wasnt here. i am nothing more than a burden.