i am legitimately a horrible person

this is not self pity. this is not any of my issues. this is the truth. i have relied on you for a year. i have told you i loved you, said i'd spend my life with you, called you my best friend - and have been not even half the person to you that you are to me. i have been an incredibly, unbelievably selfish and unseeing person. the thought of losing you right now is one of the scariest things i've ever had to experience. i owe you so much to begin with, and even more because of how i've wronged you. please, PLEASE, give me a chance to make it right.