Oh Caylee....

I miss you. It hurts so much. Losing you will forever be one of the most painful things to ever happen to me. And now I'm afraid it may happen again. Worse, that I might need to CHOOSE for it to happen. How could I live with that? Maybe I'm not, but I kind of think I am. But the thing is, even though it's not you, but it feels like I could lose you all over again. Shouldn't it feel different? Does it even matter? Either way, it's the same pain. I can't do it. God, I miss you.