It's times like this I really need someone to remind me why life is supposedly worth living

Sad, down, guilty, useless

The usual. Want to spend money to feel better but already feel guilty for what I've spent. Life sucks.

I don't take criticism well

Never have, but I figured out why. It reminds me I'm not perfect. It just proves that I'm a broken failure screw up, just like I always thought

Today was a lot

Realizing I actually accidentally skipped work was a very, very bad feeling. I felt horrible - for letting people down, that they were upset with me, that they would think badly of me. It is one of my biggest fears - nothing makes me feel worse. I think I have real issues with shame and guilt - the amount of each I feel is staggering, and I can't get myself out of it, even if I know I'm being irrational.

On the good note, the guy giving Shaili a cig "only because your friend is cute" and asking for my number / fb was nice, and delicious, gorgeous Harry was so fun to meet. I want to see more of him ;) literally